I Wanna Be Yours
by bingsandperrys
Summary: AU Mondler. Monica between Richard and Chandler chose Richard. Four years later Richard broke up with Monica, when he found out that he is not the real father of his children. Whose are Monica's kids? And what is she going to do?
1. Chapter 1

**Here is another story of mine. This idea came to me a long time ago, so now I think I'm ready to bring it to life.**

**It's written from Monica's side, so that's easier to understand the developments. And I take the story's title from Arctic Monkeys' song "I Wanna Be Yours", because I really love it!**

It's 3 p.m. and the bus stop is totally empty. Nobody is here, only me, my suitcase and, oh yeah, my poor children. And they really are poor, because their stupid mom was abandoned by her husband, and now there is no place where we can go. We are literally homeless, nobody needs us. I am surprised how I am still strong and how any tear hasn't dropped from my eye yet.

I didn't blame my husband Richard at all, because all this 4 years he was bringing up not his own children and, ironically, he found out about it only today. Damn blood test! He accidentally discovered twins' blood group, and, of course, it didn't match his group. So, without me knowing, Richard took DNA test, and it turned out that Erica and Jack are not his kids. He got really mad and ousted us from his house. Yes, I completely understand him, I need to tell him earlier. But who knows, if I confessed to him, when they were babies, he wouldn't leave us?

Do I love Richard? I can't say 'yes', I am just very thankful to him for all good he did for me and kids. Why? Why I chose him over my real love? Then I rushed with my desicion, and now I am unhappy and I have nowhere to go.

I'm simply in a bind. I just want to give up, but I can't. I have Erica and Jack. I should come up with something. I have to do it for my children - the most important I have in my life.

And there you go. Maybe I can go to my parents. But how would I manage to explain this whole situatuion? "Mom, dad, Richard broke up with me, 'cause he found out that Erica and Jack aren't his children." Nope, I am not tend to tell them all the truth, because they'd obviously require an explanation. That's a crappy idea.

In a minute, a great idea come up to my mind. The way out can always be found. We're not gonna spend the night on the street.

**I hope this narration wasn't too boring. I wrote it to clear things up. Write me whether I should continue or not.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here is another chapter of my story. I was planning to write and download it earlier, but I just didn't have any mood to write something. And I also understood that it's better to write in parts, than all at once.**

**And thank you for your inspirational reviews!**

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Chapter 2

Me and kids were heading to my old apartment, where I used to live before marrying Richard.

"Mommy, where are we going?" Jack asked me restlessly.

"To uncle Ross and aunt Rachel."

My brother and my best friend moved in my apartment, because they need more space for their little daughter Emma. So now they are the only people in entire world, who can help us.

In a while we enter the familiar hall. My god, how much me and my friends experienced, living there. How many sincere conversations we had there, sitting on a step between two apartments.

I miss our inseparable crew so much. But that was me, who split us. I married Richard, so, of course, Chandler, Phoebe and Joey stopped communicating with me. As they explained, they couldn't understand my desicion. For my friends I turned out to be a traitor. And now I'm completely agree with them.

Fortunately, all these years I maintain our communication with Ross and Rachel. And if they turned away from me like others...uh, I can't realize my life without them.

Now I hope they would help me again. So I knocked the door. In a while, Rachel opened it.

"Oh, Monica! Hi, honey!" She hugged me and kids. Rachel is really glad to see us.

"Hello, Rach!"

"Why are you with your suitcase? Are you going anywhere? She asked and let us in.

"Yeah, I left my house." I answered as I enter the apartment.

"What happened?"

I can see she was shocked a little. I didn't manage to answer, 'cause Ross came out from the bedroom.

"Hi, Mon! Glad to see you!"

"Don't be so happy, Ross, something has happened." Rachel stopped her husband.

For now Ross began worrying too.

"Oh, guys, it's nothing bad." I calmed them down.

I sent Erica and Jack to Emma's room to play with her. Then me and Rachel sat on the couch, while Ross settled in the armchair.

"So... Monica, what's wrong?" Asked Ross.

Gosh, I didn't even decide how to tell them all this truth. Anyway, I'm going to do it now or... never, I think.

"Umm... I... the thing is... Richard broke up with me." I said this as quickly as possible.

"Whaaaat?" Ross shouted to the whole apartment.

Rachel kept silent, she was just staring at me.

"Please, Ross, don't get mad! Please!" I hate it when Ross begin to behave unstable.

"Why did he do that?" Rachel asked calmly.

Now I am scared of Ross's reaction to what I'm going to say.

"You know, he found out that he's not the father of Erica and Jack." I looked at Ross and the look on his face... I swear I've never seen him that shocked and wacky at the same time.

"How did that happen?" Rachel isn't less surprised.

"That's your question?" Ross yelled at Rachel.

"What am I supposed to ask?" Rachel is, obviously, becoming angry.

"Okay, guys, I don't want hear you arguing because of me. So, to clear things up - Ross, Erica and Jack aren't Richard's. Rachel, he took that DNA test and discovered all the truth. And the main thing is that me and kids were ousted from his house and we don't have a place to live in. That's all." I don't know where I found the strength to say that out loud.

"Monica, that's not all." Ross noticed in a while. And, unfortunately, he didn't calm down at all.

And I know what he is talking about.

"If the kids aren't Richard's, whose are they?" That was Ross' question I was afraid of the most.

I'm so glad that Rachel is silent now, because she know the answer.

"They're... they're... they're..." Gosh, I can't confess.

"Monica, continue." Ross literally shouted.

"They're Chandler's."

I can see Ross's face changing from frustration to shock and then to complete realization of what I just said.

"It's a pity, that I don't have a video camera with me right now. Ross, you should see this look on your face now, it's unrepeatable." Rachel laughed to defuse the situation.

Ross shot the angry look at her.

"Rachel, did you know about that earlier?" He asked in a while.

I'm so glad that his voice seemed definitely calmer.

"Umm, yeah, Monica told me, when she was pregnant." Rachel said it like it was such an obvious fact.

Suddenly Ross stood up and went to the bathroom. It seems like he opened the water.

"What is he doing there?" I asked Rachel.

She looked at me and shrugged. In a minute Ross enter the hall, and his face was completely wet.

"I hope, you calmed down and stopped reacting like a girl." Rachel stated.

"Speak for yourself." He mumbled. "It's too much information in one day! You know, how sensitive I am!"

"Oh yeah!" Rachel rolled her eyes.

As for me, I was relieved that I managed to tell them, especially Ross, all the truth.

"Monica, why didn't you tell me? Despite everything, I'm your brother." Ross started to blame me.

"Because of your reaction! It could affect your feelings, like right now."

"But you told Rachel!"

"Did you have something against me, Ross?" Rachel asked angrily.

God, now it could be another argument. I should stop them.

"Ross, Rachel, please! I'm not tend to listen to your quarrel. I told the truth to Rachel, 'cause I need to confess to somebody, and Rachel is my best friend. Ross, understand me. It isn't matter now." I hope Ross'd see the point. I can't stand this situation anymore.

Ross sighed heavily and agreed with me.

"Mon, what are you going to do?" Rachel asked me.

"Oh, now you know that Richard ousted us from his house, so me and kids don't have any place where we can stay. That's why I'm there and maybe you'd come up with something and find a place, where we can live. Ross, Rach, can you help me?" I started feeling miserable, when I asked them.

"God, Monica, we're so sorry. Of course, we'll do everything that we're able to do. You could live there, but there is no place for..." Rachel said sincerely.

"Yes, I underestand that there is no possibility for me and kids to live in this apartment, but maybe you have another option." I interrupted.

"Of course, we have!" Ross exclaimed.

"What are you talking about?" Asked Rachel, amazed.

"Mon, you can live in the opposite apartment!" Ross offered.

"In the opposite apartment?" I was kinda surprised.

"Ross, are you crazy?" Rachel said it like it was more a statement, than a question.

"That's a great idea! Chandler is living alone there since Joey moved to Los Angeles. So you can live with him."

Living with Chandler? With my ex-boyfriend? With the guy who I loved more than anything? Gosh, this sounds really crazy and weird.

"Mon, maybe it's not a bad idea. Anyway, there isn't any other place we can offer you. I guess, it's only... Chandler's apartment." Rachel, obviously, changed her opinion and started to persuade me.

Maybe Rachel is right. She really is. It's better than living on the street or with my parents. Chandler is now our only rescue. I can imagine how it'd hard to live with him and kids, besides, his kids, even if he don't know about that fact at all.

"So?" Ross asked.

"I think I can do it. But there is one problem - what if he wouldn't agree? I broke up with him in such a bad way and he probably hates me."

"It's nothing to worry about, Mon. He's over it for now." Rachel reassured me.

Chandler is over me? It shouldn't, but somehow it hurts.

"And you used to live with Chandler some years ago, so it would be habitually for you." Rachel brought up another reason.

"But... that was another story, we were together."

When I began to remember our relationship, how right and good it was, how I felt like in heaven with him. And then - how I screwed all that up because of my stupidity. Now I realize that I've never been so happy like with him and I would never be so happy without him. And I'm so glad that now I have his kids, my only happiness and ray of light in my crappy life. Erica and Jack looked so like Chandler, they remind me of him and, oh yeah, of the biggest mistake in my life that I made when chose Richard over him.

Maybe the fate takes us again?


	3. Chapter 3

**I was supposed to update the third chapter earlier, 'cause it's summer now and it means I have a lot of free time. But the more time I have - the lazier I'm becoming. Anyway, I hope you'll enjoy this chapter, because Monica and Chandler have finally met!**

**And, of course, thank you, guys, for your great reviews!**

**Phoebe** - _I want to answer on your questions. Of course, Joey and Phoebe are still friends with Ross and Rachel, they just don't hang out with them as much as earlier. What about Chandler having a girlfriend - it'd be figured out later. And I promise to think about that flashback you asked for._

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Chapter 3

I called Erica and Jack, so we, Ross and Rachel decided to go and speak to Chandler. Honestly, I feel very nervous right now. I haven't seen him for four years, and who knows, how he would react, when he'd see me. But I'm more nervous about whether he'll allow us to live in his apartment or not. I mean, how stupid you should be to let your ex-girlfriend and her kids live with you.

"Mon, are we going?" I heard Ross's concerned voice.

"Yeah." I nodded. I'm not ready to go and meet with Chandler yet, but, whatever.

We exit the apartment, made a few steps to the opposite door. I wish our way to Chandler would be longer.

Rachel knocked the door. Since when do you need to knock on his apartment? God, I'm gonna see Chandler. Now our fate will be decided, and it depends on him.

"Guys, will you help me?" I asked pleadingly.

They didn't manage to answer me, 'cause Chandler opened the door. His eyes immediately focused on me. Maybe, he didn't recognize me. Although, who am I kidding?

We stared at each other. I was looking at so familiar, but so sad eyes. Of course, they are sad, as, I swear, he isn't glad to see me.

I looked him up, and what I can say - he changed. Chandler changed completely, in a good sense. He looked like a man, adult and mature man. He lost some weight, cut his hair, so he shouldn't use hair gel (I wasn't fond of his hair with a gel on it) and got a little sun tan. Gosh, Chandler looks so attractive. How I could exchange him for the mustachioed old man? I realized my stupidity once again.

"Chandler, look who is here! It's Monica!" Rachel broke the tension, that started to become awkward.

"Hi, Chandler!" I said it as confidently, as I could.

"Hello... Monica." His voice didn't sound cheerfully.

Chandler led us to his apartment, and only now he noticed Erica and Jack. Is he shocked? Or is he scared?

I decided to introduce kids to Chandler. God, my children will finally meet their real father. The feeling of excitement came over me.

"Chandler...um, they are my children - Erica and Jack. Erica and Jack, this is... uncle Chandler." I uttered it as I brought them closer to me.

"Nice to meet you." Kids said together in unison.

Chandler didn't say anything, but smiled weakly at them.

"Let's sit down." Ross offered.

Chandler sat in one of the big barcaloungers. Ross and Rachel settled in another one, while me and kids took a seat on high stools near the counter.

"So... why did you come?" Chandler asked indifferently.

"You know, Chandler, there's a problem..." Rachel began.

"Very huge problem." Ross added.

Maybe I should tell everything to him? Why should Ross and Rachel suffer? It's unfair, as they've already helped me. It's my deal, and it applies only to me.

"Guys, let me do it by myself." I blurted, as I gathered all the courage I had.

I bet now Chandler didn't have any idea, what's going on.

"Um...Chandler, I have a problem..."

"The only thing I unterstand now is some problem that you have. Maybe you should move on." Chandler interrupted me, his voice sounded a bit crossly.

"Okay." I sighed and I told him what had happened and why I am there. What I changed in my narration was the reason Richard ousted me and kids from his house. I told that I caught Richard with another woman. I know that it's kinda mean (cause it's a complete lie), but I can't afford telling him the true cause of breaking up with Richard. I'm not ready to confess about his fatherhood of Erica and Jack.

"God, this is... bad." Chandler said, when he heard my story.

Bad?! Is that all he can express? I wanted to rebel, but Rachel stopped me.

"Chandler, there is something else. Something that is need to be solved with your help." Rachel looked at him and then fixed her eyes on me. Probably she wants me to continue.

"As I broke up with Richard, me and kids have nowhere to live. I know, that after what happened between me and you, I shouldn't ask you about this favor, but now I am literally in stalemate. So... I'd like to ask you, Chandler... whether you allow me and my children to live in this apartment... with you? I really didn't have any other option, and I ask not for myself, for them" I pointed at Erica and Jack "so... what will you say?" It felt so hard to say, but at this moment I'm proud that I can ask him by myself, without help of Ross or Rachel.

"Chandler, it was our idea. Understand her situation - she is homeless with two little kids. Think about it, please. I'm responsible for my sister, but at this moment I just can't help her. If you weren't my best friend, I wouldn't even bother you." Sometimes Ross can find the right words.

Chandler was nervously fingering, then got up from the barcalounger and ran his hand through his hair.

"Dear, we aren't pressuring you. It's only your decision." Rachel said softly.

Chandler began walking up back and forth, his face looked tense.

Right now I'm not that calm too, 'cause I have no idea, what he'll decide.

The apartment was quiet for almost five minutes. I don't think I can wait more. Suddenly, Chandler coughed. I hope he is ready to tell us about his decision.

"So, I have thought about it... I mean it's hard, and I'd probably regret about this... but I guess, Monica... you and your children can live here... with me, in Joey's room." He finally expressed his opinion, as he looked at me.

Oh my God, he agreed! He agreed! We are saved! I'm so, so happy right now.

"Thank you, thank you very much,Chandler!" I yelled, got up from the stool and hugged him. I guess I pressed too close against him, but he hugged me back.

We were standing like this maybe for a minute. When I realized it, I broke our hug. Hugging him, being close to him felt so good, so nice. I started feeling myself more and more happier.

"Thank you, Chandler!" Rachel and Ross both looked very happy too. They stood up and also hugged him.

God, I'm with my the favourite people again. Everything is back on its places. And I like these changes.

My new life have just started.

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**One more thing: when I was describing, I imagine that Chandler from season 9. Matthew Perry is always incredible, but I think that exactly in 9th season he looked extremely attractive.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Another chapter is ready. Again I was planning to update more often, but I was very excited about entering the desired university. I was way too overwelmed by this and I still can't believe I did it. It feels so good and nice, when you finally achieved your goal.**

**And also I want to thank all of you for reading, reviewing and supporting my story!**

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Chapter 4

When Ross and Rachel left the apartment, I started with unpacking our stuff in my new room. Although whatever happens, this room will always be Joey's, I just live here temporarily. I've never thought that I'm gonna live in this place again. I lived there with Rachel once, when we exchanged our apartment with Chandler and Joey because of the stupid quiz game. And I remember how hard it was to return our apartment back.

Now I just can't imagine living here. The area of this apartment isn't quite big, but I guess I will get used to it. The kitchen is small, and it isn't very appropriate for me. Besides, there isn't enough space for raising the kids. God, when did I become so spoiled? Chandler's geniality and this place is better than nothing at all.

Suddenly I heard the knock on the door.

"Come in!" I said quite loudly.

The door opened a little, so I saw Chandler's head, sticking out of it.

"Um, Monica... Erica and Jack... they're kinda hungry." He informed me.

God, how can I be such a terrible mother? My kids haven't eaten since morning (I realized it only at this moment), but I'm here, unpacking stuff and the thought about my kids being hungry didn't even cross my mind.

"Chandler, can you please give them something to eat, while I'm unpacking?" I gently asked.

"Um... Monica, I don't think this is possible. There are any food that is appropriate for children in my fridge, you know." He answered uncomfortably.

Who would doubt?

"Okay, let me see." I uttered, as Chandler stepped out and I left the room.

I came to the fridge and opened it. Chandler was definitely right, there were barely any food there. Should I be surprised or what?

I looked at Chandler. He was standing and scratching his head, he was probably kinda embarassed.

"I'm sorry, I didn't expect new roommates coming." He began to excuse.

"So... I guess I'm gonna go to the shop and buy some food." I don't have any other way out.

"You shouldn't, I can go and buy whatever you ordered." Chandler offered.

"Chandler, are you kidding? It'd be better, if you sit with kids, while I'm at the shop." I said, as I took my purse.

Chandler nodded in agreement.

I'm a bit worried right now, whether I should leave my children with Chandler or not. Can I rely on him?

"Don't worry, Monica. Everything is gonna be alright." Chandler reassured me, as if he read my thoughts.

"Eri, Jacky, I'm going to the shop for awhile. Uncle Chandler is left with you, so behave yourself." I kissed kids both on the cheeks.

"Okay, mommy, we understood." Erica slowly nodded.

I waved to them, grabbed the keys and exit the apartment.

I quietly opened the apartment door and saw Chandler, Erica and Jack watching the cartoons on the TV. Chandler said something, probably joked and kids started laughing loudly.

"Mommy is at home." I yelled.

Kids got up from the barcalounger and ran to me with happy faces.

"So, bunnies, did you behave yourself?"

"Of course." Twins uttered in unison.

"Really?" I asked mockingly.

"Mom, if you don't believe us, you can ask Chandler." Jack grinned.

"Jack, you should call him uncle Chandler." I said a little strictly.

"Monica, there is no need to. Erica, Jack, you can call me whatever you want." Chandler chuckled.

I can't help, but cracked a smile too.

"Erica, Jack, now you'll go to the bedroom and take a nap, while I'm making a dinner." I told them, as I placed bags with food on the counter.

"Okay." They sighed.

I lead twins to the room, as Jack returned to me.

"Mommy, can you please make mac and cheese today?" He asked pleadingly.

"I was just planning to make it." I confirmed.

"You guys, like mac and cheese too?" Chandler asked, amazed a bit.

"Yeah, it's out favourite dish!" Erica exclaimed.

Chandler's favourite food is mac and cheese, so it is not surprising, that Erica and Jack liked it as much, as their dad. They are so similar, they even love the same things. Kids completely took after Chandler - the hair colour, the shape and the colour of their eyes. They looked exactly like him in the childhood (Chandler showed me his child photos once). How he doesn't manage to notice this?

I felt Chandler staring at me, probably because I was lost in my thoughts again.

"Something's wrong?" He asked.

"No." I shooked my head and headed to the kitchen.

I started cooking the dinner, when Chandler came to the counter and took a seat on one of the tools.

"You know, Monica, your kids are great." He said a bit modestly.

"Thank you." I smiled. I'm so pleased to hear these words from Chandler. He is always the one, who can say sweet things.

"Chandler, do you eat something at all? There were no food in the fridge, is it really hard to make yourself something?" I asked, worrying.

"Monica, I know how to cook, I just didn't have any time for it. I hold a high position in the company, so from morning till evening I'm at work." He simply explained.

"Besides, Rachel is now cooking, so I'm not that hungry." He added.

"Rachel is cooking? Is it a joke or what?" I am kinda surprised right now.

"Nah, she is really learning how to cook, in addition to it she isn't succeed at it, but Rachel had obtained something. Except that time I had been poisoned by one of her dishes." Chandler released a chuckle.

"Oh god, you're poor thing." I said gently and touched his shoulder.

"And on one of Thanksgiving days she made a truffle... with meat."

I laughed, yeah it's so Rachel. She definitely isn't a cooker.

"It wasn't that funny to eat it." He uttered.

"Now I'm there, so I won't let Rachel up to the plate." I reassured him.

"She will be so relieved."

"How long are you going to stay there?" Chandler asked.

"For a long time, if you don't mind. I'm not going back to Richard." I answered.

"Oh, really? You've told so years ago, but anyway you were married to him for four years." He said irritatively, as he got up from the stool.

"Chandler, I'm not in a mood to discuss that now. If you want to argue, then I'm not going to support you. I guess we figured it out four years ago." I blurted out angrily.

Once again I made sure that he never grew up, as if he wants to discuss leaving Richard and my mistake.

"Oh, calm down, Monica. If you think I'm tend to keep talking about Richard, then it's definitely not true. You were the one, who mentioned him."

God, Chandler is so unbearable. He blamed me, although he first raised the topic about this whole Richard thing.

"Chandler, if you want to live peacefully, let's just not mention Richard, okay?" I decided to make a deal.

"Agree. Once he screwed up our relationship, so I don't let him do it again." He said thoughtfully.

Why at first I want to punch him at the face, but then all I want is to grab and kiss him? No, no, no. I shouldn't even think about this. That's way too wrong and complicated.

When kids woke up, we decided to have a dinner.

"Yummy!" Jack exclaimed, as he tried my mac and cheese.

"Yeah!" Erica nodded vividly. "Chandler, do you liked it?" She asked.

"Of course I am! Now I understand how much I missed your mum's food." He smiled at me.

"Chandler, do you know how Phoebe and Joey are doing?" I wanted to ask this question since we arrived there. I haven't heard anything from them for a long time.

"Joey is in Los Angeles now..."

"How is his career of actor?" I interrupted him.

"Oh... he's not that much in acting now. He is more busy with chicks" Twins looked at him curiously "I mean, girls. This big city contains a bunch of women, with whom Joey haven't hooked up yet." Chandler chuckled.

"Chandler, what is hooked up?" Jack asked.

I shot a look at Chandler. I should probably warned him not to swear around kids.

"Chandler, explain this word to Jack, please." I asked him sarcastically with a grin on my face.

Chandler looked at me angrily. "Um, Jacky, that's... very good that you asked this question." It was really funny to see Chandler torturing, but it's totally his fault. It's better to control your language around kids.

"So?" Jack asked again.

"You know, that means to... meet a girl, I guess. Like go on a date... if you understand me. But this word is more for grown-ups, so you shouldn't use it." Chandler explained carefully and let out a sigh of relief.

"And what about Phoebe?" I asked, when we continued having our dinner.

"Phoebe is pretty good right now. She is working in some cool salon and she also in a very serious relationship." Chandler answered me.

"Oh, that's great! I'm very happy for her!" At least Phoebe is on the way to her dream life. "Who's this guy?"

"I don't know him well, but his name is Mike, he is a pianist. Phoebe is really in love with him."

"Maybe it'll lead to something more serious." I suggested.

Chandler doesn't say anything, just shrugged.

"Chandler, you know, I want to call Phoebe and meet with her. Maybe I would manage to renew our friendship, I really missed her all these years. What do you think, if she wants to talk with me at least?" I asked him nervously.

"Of course, she is. I know that Phoebe has always asked Rachel about you. Maybe Rachel has already told her about your comeback. If I took you into my life again, then why wouldn't she?" Chandler reassured me.

"Maybe you're right. I'll call her tomorrow."

When we finished our dinner and I started washing dishes, I decided to ask one question, that was torturing me for the whole day.

"Chandler... did you forgive me?"

"Monica, that's too complicated... let's talk about it later."

When he's saying "let's talk about it later", it means that he's not going to talk about it at all. Chandler didn't forgive me and I'm not sure he'll ever forgive me.

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**I'm not completely satisfied with such an ending of the chapter, but for me it seems like the most logical. What do you think, whether Chandler forgive Monica or not?**


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